This is me.
How many networking events I’ve been to and just ended up sitting in the corner observing. Especially in film events. How many times I could have talked to great people, but never knew what to say. Yes, I do prefer people talking to me, but as I’m not well-connected nor of that interesting sort. Missed a ton of opportunities. I’ve taken the “how to network” courses but its a struggle to just walk up to someone and start a conversation off the cuff like that. It’s like a brick wall to me, my brain stops, my mouth goes dry…
And I end up pissed off at myself for not making more connections, having more friends, being more social. I also start to feel self-centered and want, if not crave that people please speak with me. Always end up going home in a sulk. Man just seeing that written down I feel like a nut. But it is the crazy process in my head.
Funny though, I was in an improv group for four years. Really brought me out of my shell (to a degree) and I believe opened my mind to a greater sense of who I am. So many I knew were floored when I did that.
I feel sorry for my wife. She says she isn’t, but I know she is an extrovert, talks to everyone and makes friends so quick. One good example is when I first met her, within a week she knew everyone on my floor when I knew one or two and had been there for two years! I know she craves that social contact and I strive to make sure she gets out there but I know I’m not great company in crowds. Poor thing.
It was a difficult to come to the understanding that it would be better that I be a writer, alone with my words, in my bubble where ever I sit to ply creativity.
Now here I am a Manager for a First Nation and find it no issue to stand up and speak for them. Yes, as it states, “because I have something to say.”