Regret and Memory

all I’ve left
of their smiles, voices, mannerisms

houses, horses and personality
drove her Porsche, fast
the oldest, my sister, had, gave it all
wish I could have understood
wish I could have had closure

he he he he he
my sister’s contagious laugh
wide smile as *snip* *snip* *snip*
clients regale her with their life
as she beautified theirs
wish I got to know her better

“Ma!” I’d bellow
in the kitchen, she’d be
cookin’ somthin’
a wish, to be tiny again
once more, looking up
the child clinging to her skirt

arriving from afar
I’d call out: “Pops!”
he’d saunter to the door
his bony arms, raised
a prompt flash to my youth
his youngest cradled in his arms

regret and memory
tears at my flesh
our whole family, never whole
as best the phrase: “It was as it as”
love, hidden through
claimed a deep bedrock

Photo and Poem (c) 2015 by DC Lessoway