Gratitude
The Story behind Jody Quine’s music video for “Go On”
Just found out my friend Jody Quine was featured in an article from the on-line version of Vancouver’s Georgia Straight (click here to see the article).
Two weeks ago Jody Quine and I got together to shot a video for her song “Go On” from her recent album “Stand Up”. You can click here to see the video. It was a labour of love. Especially as I too suffer from depression and in working on this song, it really helped me though a bout of darkness I had been experiencing. I am grateful to Jody for putting her trust in me to shoot the video for her.
Yeah, it Hurts, I’ll get Over it, Again
low ebb comes, again
my sword, shield against
dragging hurt, out of reach
comes cyclical thoughts
not good enough, not good enough
not good enough, not good enough
not good enough, not good enough
till comes a realization, late, so always late
like a dish accidentally pushed to the floor
you think, “why didn’t I see that?”
comes, comes, comes
this thought, this meditation, this intention
fuck you
fuck you this hurt
fuck you these tears
fuck you this insecurity
fuck you this deep-seated
self-anger of “I’m not good enough!”
fuck you, I’m going to do my best
if others don’t like it, not my business
fuck you, this hurt
fuck you
photo and poem © by DC Lessoway
It is, what it is
Recently, I was laid off.
A shock of course, I was deeply invested in the position. It was a position of leadership and working not only with a staff, but also for a community. Quite a fulfilling job. No ill will finds my heart and while the loss left me emotional fragile, I will bootstrap and move on. As I’ve done in the past and will do again in the future.
The greatest heartbreak has been to leave behind the great people I worked with, we were a family, the loss of which is causing me deep grief.
It’s amazing how connected the self-esteem is to a job. Feelings of inadequacy, mixed with fear of not finding another position finds me often. But again, keep moving forward, keep shoving aside those dark notions and stay in the light, keep at it!
dark night of the soul
loss, termination, dissolution
gathers cynic’s row
to bestow their venom
break the spirit
dice, shred esteem
leaving one to reap
fragments of self
a patchwork of
anima + animus
bleeding ego and id
seeking
truth to self
White Boxing Day
graceful snowy wafers cascade
imbuing the warm dichotomy
of winter’s brutal chill
hands at the neck clutching
soggy coats tightly, dashing
about, Christmas spent
in want, in return, in exchange
in time, in time, in time
car, bush and road blanketed
abode safe, packing away the superfluous
in gifting, receiving regret, remorse
then
in the tranquil, quieted moments
trickling awareness comes sharply
this:
home, family, love, health
a no greater gift be
photo and poem © by DC Lessoway
Search!
find within the anger, humor
find within the despondency, hope
find within the grief, joy
find within the distraction, focus
find within the disgust, belief
find within the fear, assurance
find within the disapproval, agreement
only because they choose to go
give their life for us
all of us!
Rise
flittering glints on skin
hushed, aside blood’s rush
in the ears, munch of gravel
echoing bird song
reoxygenated, dewy air
ambrosial mix of sap, earth
enlivening, invigorating
weaving, entwining, mingling
freeing the mind to meander
the unvarying past
the rousing moment
the differing future
in this, reflection, contemplation
embrace the undetermined
to trounce change’s dread
seize, possess, acknowledge
who you are, how you look
where and how you subsist
find kindness in each moment
rise to an uncertain future
rise to a greater you
photo and poem © by DC Lessoway
Quietly Beautiful… My Canada
born in her ninety-seventh year
how I’ve seen her strive, fail, grow
leaders great, lesser, petty
tried their stamp, impress their will
yet she shined though it all
her people, from the spirit of
aboriginal humanity to the
immigrant seeking, hungering
a better, sheltered, certain life
her multi-coloured communities
match her noble, audacious bearing
my heart bursts with love in how
she stands a symbol for a better way
a greater world
Solitary
in thought, in coveting
an abiding resolution, in
contemplation of the world
at bay of humanity
this ostentatious pane
frosted, aloof, melancholy
fixed, rigid, unchanging
garnered fifty-two years
of pained wisdom, wishes the
window’d open, to be
infected by some
gregarious being, allying me
with those on the
other side of the pane
photo and poem © by DC Lessoway
